breaking bad habits

Breaking Poor Financial Habits

May 28, 2018


Right off the back, I'm just going to go ahead and say it: you're probably not rich right now because you weren't born into a rich family, you grew up poor and nobody ever taught you how to have money, keep money, and save money. You're blowing your money on things you don't need and you're trying to impress people who probably don't even like you. There. I said it. And it's not to condemn you. I want to bring awareness to the problem so that we can address it head on and get you on your way to living a rich, prosperous, and fabulous life.

If you're like me, you come from a low-income family. We didn't ask to be born poor; but, hey, it is what is. Personally, I had to learn how to overcome my poor upbringing and poverty mentality and break some of those old, ghetto money habits that my family passed on to me. And, hopefully, this blog post will begin to help you do the same. 

With that said, here's a little more about my financial past...

Going into debt, never saving any money, living above my means, having bad credit, and spending all my money were poor habits that I learned from my poor family; namely, my mother, grandmother, aunts, and uncles. Nobody had the financial literacy to teach me about checking and savings accounts, borrowing and lending money, or budgeting and investing. I don’t even think anybody I grew up around had a legit bank account - the “checking cashing place” was where they went to handle all their financial transactions. Everything I learned about money was either self-taught or circumstances-taught. And I’ve found that your circumstances will often teach you far better than anything else will.

After being evicted three times and experiencing what it was like to have and lose money, I eventually got to the point where I began to get serious about my finances. I was tired of going through the same circumstances over and over again. I desperately wanted to break the cycle for myself and for my family. 

My last and final bout with being broke and broken was after my husband and I had experienced an increase like no other; I talk about this particular time in my life in Chapter 14 of my book From Poughkeepsie to Paris: A Ghetto Girl's Journey to Becoming a Fabulous Woman

During this time of uncommon prosperity, my husband and I had closed on a business deal we were working on and got a fat check afterwards. We were spending thousands of dollars left and right because we assumed we’d always have it. There were other deals on the table, things looked promising, and we just knew we were about to be rich forever. But we weren’t. Those deals that were on the table never closed and, before we knew it, we were back broke and living a mediocre life. It was devastating and possibly the most humbling experience we’ve ever gone through. It’s one thing to never have anything, but to have experienced financial success and end up broke again is the absolute worst!

But, we knew that if God could bless us like that before, He can definitely do it again. But, we also knew that God wasn't going to bless us with another financial increase until we became committed to being great stewards over our money.

So we prepared for our next blessing - there was no way we were going to mess this one up. We sought out financial experts – accountants, financial planners and advisors – and we began to implement the financial strategies they taught us. I went out and purchased budgeting and accounting software where I could literally see the consequences of each purchase I was thinking about making and how the decisions I made today would affect my financial future. 

Realize this: God wants you to be a great steward over the money He gives to you; and, if you ever expect him to bless you with millions, you had better get disciplined in managing the thousands first. (#Message!)

Being too generous and giving away money when I should have been saving it was also something I had to get under control. My mindset was, “If I have $10,000, I can afford to give away $2,000.” But, in reality, I needed that $2,000; especially considering the fact that I was an entrepreneur and a consistent cash flow was never guaranteed. In retrospect, I couldn’t afford to give away any money. I couldn't afford to help friends and family with their bills because I was still on the come up and, even though I had more money than them, I still hadn't truly "made it". 

After going broke so many times, I realized that most financial problems could be solved with self-discipline and respect for the future. Once I started living by this principle, the numbers in my bank account increased, I began to be blessed with opportunities to make more money, and I overcame unforeseen circumstances that could have ruined me financially but didn't because I had an emergency fund.

Here's what I learned and what I want you to take away from this:

Some of the things you buy are so unnecessary. On a daily basis you’re constantly being bombarded with messages that you’re not good enough or you won’t be happy unless you bought this or that. They’re all lies being told to you by celebrities and advertising agencies. The more they make you feel insecure and dissatisfied with yourself and your life, the more money they can make off of you. And, the less money you'll have in the bank.

You have to get to the point where you realize none of the services or goods you're buying actually adds value to your life. You might look or feel good for the moment; but, all the euphoria quickly wears off and you're back feeling like crap again once you check your balance and you notice those overdraft charges. 

You'll be able to save a lot more money if you stop making unnecessary purchases and stop being a victim of consumerism. 

The first question you should ask yourself before making a purchase is, “Do I really need this?” Most of time the answer is clearly, “No.” Nothing you buy can make you fill the voids that are on the inside; and, when you buy stuff you don't need and live above your means, that’s the main reason you’re doing it: to fill a void or an unmet need...but, we'll talk about that in a later blog post.

Once I began to heal from the things I had experienced in my own childhood – the things I wrote about in my book and a little bit on this blog – I spent less money and became less materialistic. And I want the same exact thing for you. 

Having money is great but it’s more important to save the money you earn and make wise investments. That's the real secret to wealth and riches.

Be determined to break the cycle and step out of those old spending habits so that you can truly live a life of prosperity and stop pretending (or tricking yourself into thinking) that you have it when you really don't. Say "no" to those friends and family members who constantly want to "borrow" money knowing they're never going to give it back. Stay at home on the weekends instead of going out with friends; especially if you know you always spend an insane amount of money when you're out "having fun". And, download the Robinhood app and start investing in stocks. It's free to get started and you can begin purchasing low-cost stocks immediately.

It's the small changes that we make that causes us to experience financial success.

When I was being irresponsible with my finances, God began to dry some things up in my life in order to teach me to be a better steward over the things He entrusted me with. He knew He had great plans for my life – plans to prosper me – but He couldn’t do it if I was still the poor-thinking girl from the ‘hood who didn’t know how to handle having money. 

I truly wanted everything God had for me; and, I knew that I had to clean my financial act up before He would launch me into my destiny. So, I did the work, I made small changes, I educated myself, I learned my lesson, and I waited for my time to come again. Then, and only then, did God catapult me into true prosperity. 

And, I believe that's what He's wanting to do for you. If that wasn't the case, you wouldn't  have come across this blog. It's a sign, darling. Now is the time to get your financial house in order.

With Love,


You were created to live a blessed, prosperous life! Now is the time to walk in your greatness!

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